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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?